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                                                      Step-Dad

            “You are now husband and wife.”  The priest said at my mothers wedding.  The day happened as quickly as lightning.  They’re married, NO!  I didn’t want another dad.  I was happy with our family before John.  The bad part is I never got to tell John I loved him.

            I didn’t like the thought of my mom getting married again after she divorced my father. Also what happened to dad a few days after they divorced, I remember feeling as if I wanted to die with him!  I can remember that whole day as if it was only 2 hours ago.  I can’t love another person more than I loved him, he can never take over our family.

            “Jaime sweetheart, come say hello to John as your new step-dad.”  She uttered to me as she sort of pulled me towards him.

             I didn’t want to EVER say hello to John as my “new dad.”  He’s not my dad!  But I did it for my mother.

            “ Umm… Hi John.” I stammered with my head hanging down.

            “Please Jaime, call me dad.”  he remarked having his arms out.

            In my mind I was thinking that I had to be nice for mom, but when he told me to call him dad! URG!  The nice to John switch turned off when I heard that.

            “Never! I’ll never call you dad!” I hollered as I ran, ran far away to my favorite spot, the tree near the school.  I ran about a block and then I ran another block, until I got to my tree, I climbed up it and just sat there and cried.  Then I saw a car light.  Someone got out of the car and walked towards the tree.

            “Jaime, come down from there.”  John asked me as he was looking up into the tree.

            I was in my gentle peaceful little tree, just looking straight down at him.  How did he know that I was here?  He doesn’t know anything about me!  How would he know where my special spot is?  Oh!  My mother probably told him all about it.

            “Ha, how did you find me? Did you ask mom?” I beseeched him, already knowing the answer; it was yes I asked you mother.

            “Ha, ha, ha  .You think your mother knows where you are?” He laughed, “I always tell her where you go! I’ve known all along!” He laughed with a big grin on his face.

            Wow! I had John all wrong.  He knows a lot about me, more than mom does!  My step-dad knows more about me then my real mom! WOW!

            “Oh…. Ok.” I stuttered as I came down from the tree.

            So we talked everything out.  After that I felt comfortable calling him dad.  Well, he is my dad, now!  We talked and I understood, it was all for my tree I thought.  We were under my favorite tree, so I think that helped me get through it and understand a little bit.  He explained to me how he could never replace my dad; he could only be close to my dad

            The next day I was outside waiting for John to get home, because we were going to play one on one basketball.  My mother was on the phone with him, so I ran inside and was listening.  They were talking all mushy.

            “Hun, I love you! I can’t wait to see you again!” My mother whispered, because she knows that we hate hearing all of that.  We only liked her saying all of those things to dad, the real dad.

            “Hello, Hello? Are you okay John? I heard a gun shot.” She said franticly. 

            Later on, she called the police and the ambulance.  She told me that he was killed in the play of gunshots.  Someone was just playing around and they shot him as he was coming home.  We all were crying, my mother, Johns mother and relatives, and especially me!  We were all balling our eyes out.  We got to see him, he looked so happy, but we knew how he really felt.  He loved us.  When we saw him he looked so helpless.  He was pale, I felt him, he was as cold as ice.

            “Jaime, he loved us all very much.” She said, trying to make me feel better.

             I felt horrible.  Like it was my entire fault!   I wanted him to play one on one basketball, so he was rushing.  I started to love him as my father.  Know both of my dads are in heaven hopefully.  The worse part is………. I never got to tell him that I loved him dearly.  

            That night my mother and I prayed.  Father, please help the one’s who have died.  Especially our two dads, and husbands, John, and Louis.   Also bless us with safety and tell our loved ones that we love them, and miss them dearly. 

            Then when my mother left I got out of bed and knelt on the floor and said my own prayer.  God please let me talk to my fathers for a second.   Fathers I love you both very much.  John, I…. I love you, and yes you were my father.  And my other dad, Louis, I love you and miss you, please both of you watch over us!  

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